i already hear my dad disowning me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
