I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize