things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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