Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
