You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
