my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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