Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
