Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
