Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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