Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
