youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
