So gin and wine won't be happening again
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
