I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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