people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
