Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Randomize
