why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
