24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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