Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
