So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize