So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
