Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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