getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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