I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
