every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
