Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
