My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
