Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
