the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize