i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
