i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
