Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize