but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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