He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize