Tell her she can't have a vagina
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize