Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
