Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
