Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
