I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
