We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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