I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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