God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize