you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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