If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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