I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
