I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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