I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
