you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
