I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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