using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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