i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
