I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My vagina just recognized that song.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize