we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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