my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need to calm my uterus...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize