Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We left an ass print on the piano.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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