my mouth tastes like poor choices
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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