Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
