so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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