Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
