She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
