Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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