There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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