Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
