your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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