I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
