Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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