the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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