The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
