I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
