It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
