I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
