never play flip cup with pint glasses
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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