Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
