Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
